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THIS I BELIEVE, OR DON’T

First of all, there’s an ode to zip-ties on my other blog.

And now: Ira Glass did a show called “This I No Longer Believe” and I loved it. So. . .

THIS I’D LIKE TO BELIEVE

You can get very flexible by practicing yoga in a white catsuit. 

Butter is the elixir of health. 

Butter deficiency can be corrected by mixing butter with toast.

THIS I DON’T BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND

We all deserve unconditional love.

That the book The Answer contains the answer.

THIS I SINCERELY DO BELIEVE

A certain kind of person will always tell you that anything can be cured by a high colonic.

Nothing can be cured by a high colonic. (Except, maybe, boredom.)

Once every ten years a  door-to-door salesmen of the old school will appear before me and cause me to spend a jaw-dropping amount of money on something you never even heard of. 

You’ve never heard of Advan-age surfectant cleanser.

Advan-age surfectant cleanser will kill all the microscopic algae we need to maintain homeostasis, but they don’t tell you that when you’re busy writing a check.

THIS I NOW WONDER

What’s for dinner?

 

 

 

 

5 Comments

  1. kathie wrote:

    so you know now that i’ll have to go get the book “the answer” to see what query remains unanswered.

    Monday, May 4, 2009 at 11:57 am | Permalink
  2. admin wrote:

    I actually never read it myself. I couldn’t, because I keep getting the Charley’s Greenhouse Supply catalogue. But I think it’s about the Law of Attraction–you know, think about stuff you want, real, real hard, and it will come to you, because that’s the point of the universe, to give us all a bunch of stuff. And remember, Kathie, you have to get your own stuff in this world. Don’t expect the government to get it for you! And don’t be handing out stuff to other people!

    Monday, May 4, 2009 at 1:14 pm | Permalink
  3. Dede@architerra.com wrote:

    …Giovannis take-out and a salad if you must know!

    Monday, May 4, 2009 at 4:09 pm | Permalink
  4. Karan Pond wrote:

    I have a bottle of Advan-age cleanser under the sink. It’s been there since Emily was a baby and I spent the last $35 we had buying it from the very persuasive woman who showed me how it took the road tar off of the car.

    We called it “magic bean” cleaner because I spent the last of the money on it. However, unlike the magic beans of legend, it did not make us wealthy or give us an amazing bean vine.
    And I never used it to take the rest of the road tar off the care. It wasn’t really bothering me.

    Tuesday, May 5, 2009 at 10:48 am | Permalink
  5. Flynn wrote:

    This I believe:
    Robin C. is as clever, if not cleverer, than Ira G.

    Friday, May 15, 2009 at 7:41 am | Permalink

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